weekend post

6.20.09

CJ and I were supposed to go church hopping (bisita iglesia) today but I received a text from a client that they have new orders. So after visiting only three churches, we decided to first meet up with them and maybe continue the bisita iglesia later. But on our way to the rendezvous, a wardrobe malfunction occurred. The straps of my havaianas ripped! Good thing we were near the mall and CJ was kind enough to buy me a new pair of slippers (read: spartan). After we collected the initial payment from our client, we went directly to Uyanguren to buy supplies. We bought 64 pieces of shirts and hell yeah, they are quite heavy. And btw, we do not have wheels, so we have to commute by jeepney. And being kuriport that we are, we'd rather walk a hundred meters or so rather than taking multiple jeepney rides. Seven pesos can go a long long way. So there we are hungry and drained, carrying for God knows how many kilos of shirts. And nice thing is that near our personnel's place where we were supposed to deliver the supplies is a Minute Burger chain. Buy 1 take 1 burger!!! Imagine..you get two burgers for only 24 pesos. That's 12 peso a piece. Thank God for Minute Burger. And after delivering the supplies, we now have to deliver the finished products to another client. At least it's just 20 shirts. Carry lang! But unfortunately, it started to rain, and we still have to walk, and we still have to wait for a jeep. CJ and I would always joke around and comment that it is really hard to earn a living. Now we know! It was already dark when we delivered the product. Heck, that was a loooooooong day!

6.21.09

It's a Sunday. And guess where we went to shop and dine????????? Just in the uber-sosyal and hippest place to be...
Where else but in Agdao Public Market! My sister needed a new pair of school shoes, so we went to shop in the ukay-ukay. She was able to buy a pair of cute doll shoes for only 100 pesos. Yeah, as in 1-0-0.
And because the air-conditioning system was not functioning, our throats all went dry. So we decided to enjoy some thirst-quenchers. We had buko juice served in chilled goblets! And after shopping, what's good to do is to dine and eat. So we went to a fine dining restaurant where they serve Filipino cuisine specializing in local delicacies. We had rice cake (puto maya), hot choco (sikwate), sweet treats with ice shavings (halo-halo), noodles with seafood sauce (palabok) and noodles with beef stock (mami).

Dream on tedpen! Dream on...

I know...I know, been climbing again, socially that is. haha!

Fool's Month

AFTER LENT, THERE WERE ALREADY A FEW SIDETRIPS THAT I'VE BEEN TO. FOR ONE, THERE'S THE MINI REUNION I'VE HAD WITH MY HIGHSCHOOL CLASSMATES LAST APRIL 18. IT WAS AN OVERNIGHT IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. IT WAS HELD AT DUMOY GARDEN RESOT. WE GOT THERE AROUND 8PM, BUT WE STILL WAITED FOR THE OTHERS. WE ATE AROUND 9PM, HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND PLAYED SOME GAMES. WHILE OTHERS CONTINUED DRINKING, I ON THE OTHER HAND TOOK SOME SHUTEYE. I WOKE UP JUST BEFORE DAWN TO APPRECIATE THE SUNRISE BY THE SEA. WE LEFT THE PLACE AROUND 7AM WITHOUT EVEN TAKING A DIP IN THE POOL OR IN THE SEA BUT STILL I HAD A LOT OF LAUGHS AND FUN WITH MY FRIENDS.

LAST APRIL 27, TOGETHER WITH SOME OF THE STAFF NURSES IN HOLY SPIRIT, WE WENT TO LUPON. IT IS THEIR PAROCHIAL FIESTA AND ATE MALOU, ONE OF MY CO-VOLUNTEER, INVITED US TO THEIR PLACE. AND AS EXPECTED, THE FOOD WAS OVERFLOWING. WE GOT THERE AROUND 8AM AND BREAKFAST WAS SERVED. RIGHT AFTER, WE TOURED AROUND TOWN. WE ALSO WENT TO THE BEACH. CJ AND I TOOK A STROLL ON THE SAND WHILE APPRECIATING THE VIEW. WE FOUND A PERFECT SPOT ON A BENCH UNDER THE SHADE OF SOME TREES. THE PLACE JUST TOOK ALL MY STRESS AWAY. THOUGH THEIR BEACH IS NOT COMPARABLE TO THAT OF BORACAY OR BOHOL, THE SIMPLICITY OF THE PLACE IS JUST SO RELAXING. I LOVED HOW THE PLACE IS SO LAID BACK. AND THE WAVES ARENT THAT LOUD, THE ONLY SOUND YOU WILL HEAR ARE THE BIRDS AND THE DISTANT SOUND OF SOMEONE SINGING ON THE VIDEOKE. WE WENT BACK TO ATE MALOU'S PLACE TO HAVE LUNCH. AND THE PLACE WAS ALREADY PACKED. THERE WERE SO MANY VISITORS. THEY EVEN WELCOME PEOPLE THEY DONT KNOW AND SERVE THEM. THE FOOD WAS SUPERB. IT WAS A BUFFET FIT FOR A KING. LATER DID I KNOW THAT HER FATHER WAS A FORMER VICE-GOVERNOR AND HIS BROTHER A COUNCILOR. AFTER EATING, WE JUST TOOK A BREATHER THEN WENT TO THEIR NOT SO FAR FISH PONDS. AND AGAIN IT'S EATING TIME. IT WAS AROUND 3PM AND WE HAD SHRIMPS, CRABS AND MANY MORE FOR SNACKS. WE STAYED THERE UNTIL SUNDOWN THEN WE ALREADY DECIDED TO HEAD OUR WAY HOME. IT WAS ALREADY DARK AND MOST OF US WERE ASLEEP IN THE VAN – TIRED WITH ALL OF THE ACTIVITIES AND THE LONG DAY WE'VE HAD. ONLY ONE OF US WAS AWAKE AND GOOD THING SHE'S WIDE AWAKE FOR WE WERE HEADING THE WRONG WAY. SHE IMMEDIATELY CALLED THE DRIVER'S ATTENTION AND WE STOPPED. NOW ALL OF US ARE AWAKE. WE ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS AND FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE REALLY HEADING THE OPPOSITE WAY. WE U-TURNED AND HEAD THE REAL WAY HOME.

TWO DAYS AFTER THE LUPON ESCAPADE, I WAS AGAIN ON THE ROAD WITH CJ TOGETHER WITH MIGUEL AND HIS COUSIN DEC. WE WENT TO EDEN NATURE PARK. WE GOT THERE AROUND 8AM AND A COOL BREEZE GREETED US. WE TOURED AROUND THE AREA. MIGUEL ALSO BROUGHT WITH HIM HIS SLR CAMERA. MOST OF OUR TIME WAS CONSUMED BY THE PICTORIALS. JUST BEFORE NOON, IT RAINED AND WE WERE STRANDED IN ONE OF THEIR RESTING HUTS FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR. RIGHT AFTER THE RAIN STOPPED, WE HAD OUR COMPLEMENTARY SNACKS – SPAGHETTI WITH FRESH TOMATO SAUCE. DEC AND CJ ALSO WENT FISHING FOR US TO HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT FOR LUNCH. IT TOOK FOREVER FOR THEM TO CATCH SOMETHING. GOOD THING DEC WAS BETTER THAN CJ. ALL IN ALL, THEY CAUGHT 3 HITO AND 1 TILAPIA. CJ ONLY CAUGHT 1 HITO AND THE REST WERE DEC'S. WE REALLY WAITED FOR CJ TO CATCH SOMETHING FOR HER CONFIDENCE' SAKE. HEHE... GOOD THING THE HITO PARTICIPATED. AFTER THE CATCH OF THE DAY WAS COOKED, WE GORGED INTO IT. AND IN FAIRNESS, IT WAS SUMPTUOUS. AFTER EATING, WE HEADED TO THE POOL TO COOL DOWN. WE ONLY HAD MORE THAN AN HOUR TO ENJOY THE WATER. AND AGAIN IT WAS PICTORIAL TIME. AROUND 5.30PM, WE SHOWERED, DRIED UP AND HEADED HOME. EVEN IF WE ONLY HAD A FEW HOURS AND IT EVEN RAINED ON US, NONETHELESS I STILL HAD A LOT OF FUN.

THOSE WERE ONLY 3 FUN FILLED DAYS. AND NOW THAT IT'S ANOTHER MONTH, THERE ARE STILL SO MANY LISTED ON OUR CHECKLIST. I HOPE MANY OF THEM WILL BE MARKED AND CHECKED.
GODSPEED!

BTW, SORRY FOR THE CAPS. BLAME IT ON MY FREAKIN KEYBOARD. IT WONT BUDGE EVEN IF I PRESS CAPSLOCK SO HARD.

Choose Level of Difficulty

If you had your way in life, would you want things easy or difficult? Are you the type of person who would always chase challenges?

This was ask to me by CJ while we were in the front seat of a jeepney on our way to duty. Well, i have always been the easy going and laid back type of guy... So if i had my way, i would without a doubt choose the easy way. I believe that challenges will come whether you want it or not, whether you're prepared or not. So if life is like a computer game wherein you can choose the level of difficulty, i would surely choose the easiest. Life is already complicated enough to make it even more complicated.

Or maybe i'm just rationalizing stuff. Maybe i really would love to take risks and challenges but just dont have the guts to do it. Just another maybe in my life. But on the jeepney somewhere in Bankerohan, CJ somewhat believed what i have said and mentioned that she'll put that in mind. I have said it with conviction and somewhat that time i also believed myself. Till next time. Godspeed!

Btw,i am creating this post using my phone through opera mini. Cool noh? Free internet anytime anywhere. Really handy...

tedpen in the sickroom

Yup, I’m back in the hospital. Guess it’s about time that I do some training and volunteering work. It’s about time that I refresh my skills and memory. It’s been almost two years I guess since the last time I’ve been exposed to the sterile trace of the hospital.

I truly missed the hospital setting – the workload and the responsibilities. It sounds weird but I somehow enjoy going on duty. The workload is challenging but tolerable. I missed dealing with patients and their needs. I missed being a nurse. There’s still room for a lot of improvement though. I hope I can give my all and be the best that I can be. Time to work my ass off.

Godspeed!

Moving on

Now, I can move on with my life.

It’s not what you think it is. I did not have a recent break up. What I’m referring to is my career path. I took the examination that marks the end of the class. That was also the sign for me to move on. That was the point of transition – an end and a beginning. Now I can proceed fully to the next stage – without hang-ups and what ifs.

Now all I have to do is wait. But while waiting, I must make use of my time. What better way but to work and to do some training and gain some experience. I hope I’ll do well with it. I hope I can give my best and apply my remaining knowledge and skills (if there’s still) to good use. With courage and confidence, I must face this new page of my life.

But before that, I must now submit my applications and pray that I may be accepted. Godspeed!

23 @ 09

Yep, I turned 23 this year. We celebrated it at Chema’s. I had alot of fun. The place was amazing ang the food was superb. Here are some proof of our fun-filled day…

Another year added in my life but feels like nothing’s totally change. I don’t quite understand myself these past few days. I’ve been having a lot of doubts and worries about myself and life in general.

I have always been afraid of the unknown – worried that everything may not turn out well. Anxiety and worries can sometimes drive you nuts and dormant. It holds you in stagnant position and even affects your vision. I have always been an optimist – seeing the glass half full. But there are times like this that I see the opposite.

Sometimes I also feel like I cannot do anything right. Sometimes I do not pursue good plans just because I am afraid that I might fail. I’m afraid to take the leap thinking that I might fall. Even if I haven’t started a task yet, I’m already thinking about failing – that I cannot do it. My self-esteem may sometimes dwindle down.

So for the new year, I am asking God for an armor of courage and a weapon of confidence so that I can battle the obstacles that lie ahead. That I may be able to utilize all opportunities given to me and that I can face all the trials that come along. And that I may be confident enough to continue with life knowing that I can make it after all.

And just today, God talked to me. How I love it when God’s message is just so clear – as if God’s in front of me uttering those words. I went to hear mass and the gospel was about the story when some of the disciples went to the sea and their boat toppled over. And there they saw Jesus walking on the water. At first they were even afraid thinking that He was a ghost.

But God said, “Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid”. (Matthew 14:27)

Now I know that I mustn’t be afraid for I have God. That fear we have can lead us nowhere and that you will reach nothing if all you do is worry. It is better to have tried and fail than never have tried at all. But I know everything will be good and even great with Him. My God will never let me down. Now, I will face this life and everything that lies ahead courageously and with full of might. Godspeed!

Greetings!

Happy New Year!
Cookies for all... baked 'em myself...

happy thoughts

Merry Christmas y’all.
I was able to complete the nine mornings of the misa de gallo. And I made wishes.
Everybody’s greeting everybody a merry Christmas. A fellow churchgoer greeted me. The pedestrian greeted the police.
It’s my sister’s birthday.
Our relatives visited and celebrated with us.
We had lechon. And a lot lot more.
I found out that there’s a daily limit of sending messages in friendster.
I received a lot of Christmas greetings from friends and relatives.

wish ko lang

It’s the season of giving (and receiving) once again. And because of that malls are flocked, parking lots are full, lines in the counters and ATMs are long and red tags and discounts are everywhere. And almost everyone has already rolled out their Christmas wishlist – a list of things they want. A tally of stuff they hope to receive this holiday season. But I on the other hand cannot think of anything to write on my list. Maybe because I don’t have any Christmas savings (read: no work = no pay, no class = no stipend) and thinking of things I want will only be disappointing. I don’t want to think of stuff for me to drool on knowing for a fact that I cannot have them; either through my own money which again I don’t have or through other’s.
But if I do have a wishlist, am sure it’s fairly flexible. I receive anything enthusiastically with open arms – may it be something deemed necessary or some stuff that I will not be able to use.
So for all the givers out there, I am practically a grateful recipient whose list is for the donor to write anything on. So go ahead, get your pens ready coz my wishlist is now ready for you all to write on – and of course for you all to grant.

A Dozen

We went to our school/agency this afternoon to barrage our queries and doubts regarding our status of employment. We bombarded them with dozens of questions. If we still have any chance in a very tough competition wherein the rules are against us. If we still have any chance to belong to a list. It came to our knowledge that time that what the employer requires now is at least 26 years of age and has 3 years of work experience. How in this world can we comply with that? And the reason why we persevered with this is because we know that there’s no work experience required. The employer has really been inconsistent and we just hope that they'll change their minds and that their inconsistency will somehow benefit us as well. We do hope that a better employer will come. We do pray that the right employer for us will come.

To fill our thoughts with something else and to fill our stomachs as well, we decided to eat. Somebody’s craving for some donuts so to Dunkin we went. It should have been the usual – 5 munchkins and drinks for 35 pesos. But the lady in the counter said that they have a promo – a dozen munchkins and drinks for an additional peso. We were overwhelmed by the load and hurriedly munched on them. But halfway through the dozen, the sweetness started to numb our taste buds. But I still managed though to consume all of them.

I just hope that I can gobble down my troubles just like those Munchkins. But well, c'est la vie! Life can sometimes be like a box of Munchkins...

THE LIST

“Gang, I fil bad.”

That was the text I received from CJ this afternoon. Of course I responded asking her why. And her next message suddenly made my heart jump and beat faster. Mixed emotions conquered me. Her text goes like, “Naa na ang list” (The list is already out.) I read it as if she was beside me uttering those very words with a flat tone. Suddenly, it dawned on me. But still I had a hint of hope in the side of my mind. I don’t want to lose it all and totally dwell in the negative.

But her confirmation of the bad news erased my hopes away. The list of the lucky twenty is finally out and only MM made it from our group. The sorrow I felt is now visible on my face. My heart is so heavy that my eyes overflowed. I took a shower to wash them away. I even asked God why – why I did not make it when I wanted it so badly.

When I was on my way to meet up with CJ to hear the news personally, I even thought that maybe CJ was just kidding and that she would just want to surprise me – a sign that I am still hoping. But then I thought that that wouldn’t be such a nice joke. And when I was a couple of steps away from them and I finally had a glimpse of CJ’s face, I realized that she wasn’t really joking after all.

Now, I don’t really understand what I am feeling. Guess I am back to having mixed emotions again. For sure I’m sad. Or maybe jealous for I am not picked; jealous that the others will be leaving soon; and jealous for they got the thing what I wanted so badly. Maybe I am also disappointed – disappointed at myself, disappointed at the list and for the system of selection – if there’s such!

Somewhat, I have already accepted the fact that I was not lucky enough to be included in the list. I keep on thinking that I should already accept it and that it is the right thing to do. That is why I tend to suppress the grief. I try to forget about it and just focus on the positive things. But somehow, anger and depression still linger. I keep on returning to those feelings. Guess I haven’t fully accepted it yet. Maybe forgetting and suppressing aren’t that helpful after all. Or maybe, it just takes some time for me to fully accept it. All I need is time.

Guess we’ll be waiting again. When will this end? If they just only knew how agonizing this feeling is. But at least there were people chosen and good enough that one of them is from our group, it gives us hope that maybe the next ones would already be us.

I know God has plans for us. I always thank God for everything happen in His perfect time; God never failed me on that and maybe now is just not the right time yet. I may not realize it now but I know that there will be a reason for this – why He hadn’t given it now. And now I pray that I can fully accept that I was not in that list. I know this time isn’t for me because God has bigger and better plans and it will come in the most perfect time – in His time.

All about me…diocrity

Easygoing. Laidback. Carefree. Happy-go-lucky. All of these can be tagged on me. If given a chance, I would always choose things that are uncomplicated. When I am in a situation that demands a lot, sometimes I get challenged and I render the needed effort but there are times that I give in to the pressure and thereby lose the drive and determination.

After a period of much stress and tension, I make it a point to treat myself – just something to look forward to – may it be a movie or just a plain long night’s sleep. This is just my way of getting things done. But there are times that all I can think about is the reward I have ahead. And as a result I lose focus and then I cannot give the best I’ve got. Sometimes, I just perform a task just for the sake of complying and finishing it. Maybe those are the times that I’ve reached my maximum tolerance for fatigue.

With all of those circumstances, I know that I was never the best…though I try to be; still I end up being mediocre. I always give my all; or so I'd thought. There are times that I look back and thought that I could have given more.

But come to think of it, what comes before best is better and mediocre is far below them. I’ve strived to be the best but sometimes I fail to reach it and so maybe I can be considered as better. Mediocrity is definitely not synonymous with second-best.

Or maybe I only have very high standards for myself; maybe I compare myself too much. Perhaps I am not mediocre after all. Not even better. Compared to others, I may not be the greatest but for my standards, possibly that was the best that I can be. What’s important is that I’ve shown effort; may it be not enough to reach the top but still its called effort.

Even if you’re not the finest, that you are just good or even ordinary, there’s totally nothing wrong with that. There’s always room for improvement. What’s important is that you have tried and that you have shown interest and effort. Though you did not get what you want, still you got what we call experience and that is your ticket to greatness.

Yearbook

It was just recently that our yearbook was released. After one and a half years, it finally materialized. But taking into consideration the number of graduates, I guess that span of time was just enough. Mind you, our yearbook has two volumes – the first time for our school. And of course, the yearbook’s staff got lives as well. The book is not the only thing on which they have to dedicate their selves to.

After many months of waiting, I finally got hold of it. It was all black with the school logo and the yearbook’s name on the front. The layout was good; clean, creative and stylish. The yearbook comes with a box to make the two volumes handy. But still eight kilos is a lot of weight.

But come to think of it, I wasn’t actually ‘waiting’. There were more important things in life to be bothered about than to wait for a book that summarized our college lives. The latter was placed in the farthest recesses of my brain. I was concerned with more important things. Like what, you might ask? Well, to start with there’s the uncertainties of what the future brings. Months back, I was pondering about my future and how it can be so vague. I was worried that maybe my dreams are light years away and my future was as dark as void.

How can we be so prepared for the future? What are the things that should be done so that we will have a life that we want? If only we were brought into this world with a user’s manual then life could have been so easy. We know what to do and how to do it – you just have to follow the step-by-step procedure.

It was also then that a realization hit me. With the uncertainties of life comes the beauty of it. What thrill can life still offer us if we know where it’s heading? What enjoyment can life still give us if we know the next chapter? What spontaneity can life still bring if we already know the next step?

It is better not to know the future so that we can cherish the present. An analogy would explain it best. Sometimes, when I am watching Filipino flicks, though I know that it’s going to be a happy ending, I tend to act blind and just follow the lead of the story and enjoy each scene. Not knowing what the ending is makes you focus in the current scene, digest it and enjoy it more. Let’s just live in the present and let life take its course.

When I started leafing through our yearbook and turned the page where my profile was, it dawned on me that my school years are totally over. You might think that it might be too late for me to feel such and that the more perfect time for which is during our Graduation. But for me, Graduation should be a happy moment – that at last, after how many years of studying, I am now marching through another phase in my life. Graduations bring about a feeling of relief and success that all of the hardwork paid off. But now I was more in a nostalgic mood – that as if I entered college just yesterday. Time really flies so fast. So you really need to cherish each moment of your life. Savor the learnings and the experiences – may it be good or bad.

It took me several hours to finish flipping through the pages and finally got to the last leaf. There were many pages in this book. And there were also many faces, experiences and hard-earned lessons in those four years. This may be the last page of our yearbook, but my life still continues on…beyond school and beyond this yearbook…